Lo and Behold - US!!

You must’ve heard the overused phrase, “My Group is perfect”. Well it’s not actually a phrase but I tried to come up with a better start & I couldn’t, really, so I intend to start by saying “My Group is perfect”. (Pls don’t ignore what I’ve written below based on this start, really, I’ve taken lotsa pains to do this!! Thanks) I mean most of u guys have 1 funny guy, 1 go-to guy (what the hell is that btw?). But my group, it’s got multiple people filling multiple roles, beautifully synchronized. Weird bunch of people I tell u, but Perfect!!

Let’s start with the best one- Rojnikant. Not only coz he bears striking resemblance to the Famous actor, but he’s capable of doing everything that the maharathi can & sometimes even stuff he can’t!! He’s the most colorful guy ever; n I’m not talking about just his shirts. Was busy for a while, but now that he’s absconding from work he’s down more often, so more mazaa. Thank God it’s not Herpes!! Hehe. This guy comes up with verbal gems, from the funny – “You just got Pissed On!” or “ S is the Lara Croft of the Kachrawaalis” to those soft, sensitive ones like “if u want to know if I’m your good friend or not just flip a coin, if it’s heads then I Am, if it’s tails, flip again” ( touching, truly beautiful) But Sometimes this guy can truly be the tacky in spec-tacky-ular but that’s truly his charm. Big Frisbee n “baddy” fan, very energized & highly energizing. He’s the man! Or in his words, The MAAN!! Keep on Rocking Sirji!!

Next Up Wakdi Bldg. Very Punctual, always down at 8:15 and mostly she’s the only one there. Work’s closer to home than most people, which is kind of a waste actually coz a lot of people think she’s capable of going places. (Pls get the joke, I’m sure Wakdi won’t). Intends to make tall strong buildings but can barely stand straight (The irony of it I tell u!!). Very very smart but can crack some seriously sad sad jokes. But she really likes the entire group, her source of strength (something she desperately needs), very very “involved”. No plan is complete without Bldg waali coz most of the time it’s she who’s co-coordinating the whole bhavandar n every time it doesn’t happen she promises that next time she won’t make a plan, but ends up going through the routine eventually. Tenacious, Helpful, Careful (bahut chadhaaya, scared abhi she’ll fall down apne hi bldg se)

Followed by Sadoo Smarty- All he did his whole life is study. I’ve known him all my life, n he’s only been studying!! It’s like he studies for leisure!! He’s getting this studying side-effect now though something his bro Filmy is sure not to get – He’s balding! N Don’t bother arguing with him coz most of the time he’s right (I should know). & even if he is wrong he’ll convince u otherwise (again, I should know). But doesn’t know where his scrotum is, apparently he has no need to know- aah, the privileges of being a genius!! Saala’s earning more than any of us combined but kuch nahi diya ab tak, Hopefully he’ll now feel the guilt n treat us knowing that the whole WWW knows he’s this way. Padhte raho, Shiksha mein pragati hai!!

Filmy Sir haazir Ho!! This guy has talent; oodles of it (ask him about his famous “Come down Monkey” archives, he should make a comic strip out of it, Calvin & Hobbes r nothing in comparison!!). Don’t think I’m calling him Filmy coz he’s those overacting types but because of his love for them, his passion for them, and his huge film database (Also attributed to Smarty). This guy has laid the foundation for many people to join his “Computer Literacy Outreach Program” along with “Sarvajanik Ghar Sanstha”. Me being an honorary founder member of both these prestigious societies! I’ve known this guy for yeeeeaaarrs, scarred his childhood, & probably will continue to scar his future till he runs away n gets a new address. Even then his safety’s not assured!! I’m sure he’ll do well coz I’m hoping I have atleast one of those “famous Files” to handle, I don’t have any hope with the others (No hard feelings guys! :P)

Then comes Baarik Mulgii – Ironically she tells people what they should eat. Haha. Very conscious about herself, not in those "nose up in the air" types though, which is great. Has a very active social life, which makes me jealous, n now she’s got a car (the one in which SRK proves his teacher wrong, what a dimwit that guy is!!) which makes me go Green (fultoo Hulk types). She laughs at everyones jokes, out of Pity or seriously I have no idea but I blame her for the rise of sad jokes in our group, though she barely cracks any. Bechaari’s very busy (socially + professionally), so busy in fact that we barely know if she’s in the colony or not. Agar Sunday ko kuch karna hai n there’s no place, tension not, atleast taboo khelne ke liye ghar mil jayega.. :P. Only Risk taker in the group, she’s done the impossible; she’s colored her hair, Red!! (but unfortunately not the clown hair types) So I guess she’s a marginal risk taker, phir bhi yaar, Good Job!!

Next up – Parsi. I just summed her up in one word yaar!! She’s brash, direct, and funny with a funnier laugh, the works! She loves what she’s doing but tends to get weird when her exams come up, full melodramatic types!! Drama Queen, end mein she gets neat marks! Well, about her, She Loves Hysterectomy’s, and wishes she gets to experience more, she finds yellow sulphuric gall stones cute n flowerlike and she also has a smart side in her to find the irony in “ A uterus in a Lactogen container” ( damn!! U have no bloody idea how much I laughed writing this, n ask her to explain, Pls Pls do!!!) Parsi tends to get pretty pissed off, especially when I call her Parsi, so Sorry Parsi! She makes for the best arguments, so let’s get ready to rumble!! Don’t worry, with Parsi eventually everyone does. :):):)

Coming up next-M.S. Looney – Very unlucky with Bosses, first food-wine lady bugged her now Bandrawaalas bugging her. Trasit Aurat.
M. S. Looney, the logic of which is divided into 2 parts; Part 1) coz she resembles possibly every Looney toons character that comes to mind, from Bugs to Daffy from Tweety to Porky Pig, Sometimes she even gets that Tasmanian Devil avatar in her and she sounds exactly like It too!! Part 2) Coz she’s Mama’s Sweetheart (M.S.) She makes me feel like as if my mom doesn’t give a crap about me, the undivided attention she gets ( every 30 secs post 9:15) makes me envious. Hehe. Has this weird thing for Bald/ing Guys, Zidane, Sadoo Smarty etc. She’s planning to Shoo off to the UK now, hopefully we be remembered. God Bless her :)

Then our very own Mother Takshila. The OLDest member. She intends to run a Crèche in the not so distant future, where we are supposed to send our children, rather we’re being forced to. Last time we met she planned to let our kids bring out their creative sides by conducting a “foot shaped pee puddle” course, only for bacchas.. Hehehe. This just proves what a great entrepreneur we have among our ranks. Forbes 500 here she comes!! Ka-ching! This Mallu Goan lives life King size, fun, but unfortunately the rest of the group can’t. they’ve got to go back home early u see most of them have curfews (sad), but kudos to her for trying to bridge the huge generation gap :P. Someday we shall make a plan, for sure!! Till then “Temptations” is the best we can come up with Amma ;)

Humongous Verbal Expression Capability Possessor a.k.a. Humongo! This Guy’s staying with Uncle Sam right now and as u can see from his title this guy uses big words, this ability is also possessed by Sadoo Smarty probably because they share a Birthday, n it’s coincides with Teachers Day- Geeks, Small world indeed. This guy can talk with anyone coz frankly he knows everything. He has no inhibitions n can wear lipstick with absolute panache!!(A beautiful image I tell u, Beautiful!!) This guy can dance, n if down a peg or two, none better- basic requirements of Hostel Life. Sometimes he does get these conscientious thoughts that tell him not to drink, he probably didn’t drink enough to kill those voices :P. see u in Aamchi Mumbai Humongo, lots of catching up to do.

Dhokla Boy- He n Humongo were schoolmates, small small world, but probably were never in the same class, coz contradictory to the above he uses very small words, 5 letters max! But it’s good in a way u see, coz atleast we understand him!! He’s now plying his trade with the Arab tel-walas, so wishing he learns the art of robbing them dry, n since he’s gujju there’s a great possibility of that happening ALL THE BEST!! He comes down once a year, n when he does is barely at home. N neither is Rahul’s bike, coz this guy churaoes it. Has a brilliant memory, forgets everything. Anyways Gujju bhai come soon yaar, baddu time pass hove che colony maa.

Aage hai 40 Watt bulb- She’s not dim, but very very dull!! She should’ve been in Mumbai longer yaar, staying with Mumbai’s Chhota Bhai has made her pretty frustrated (tsk tsk). This does not spell lovely childhood for “bubu” and “badbu” (Future Twin bacchas). Big Fan of PJ’s, loses track of whom she heard it from sometimes but remembers them all, terrific :). Right now she’s a little low on the conversation decibel chart but I’m hoping the volume and intensity increases. But seriously I blame those sadiyal big big Law books, dimaag numbing things!! I know she will eventually open up till the point that we beg her to shut up but by then it’ll b time to go back to Chhotu’s place.

Then Shakkar waali Doctor – Very sweet, probably why she’s getting into Homeopathy and not kadva medicine waala Allopathy or Sui Chubhowing in flabby areas-pathy. Has the unique gift of making a Frisbee inherit properties of a boomerang, it comes right back to her. Awesome!! She’s uber talented, musically gifted, n so soft spoken sometimes makes me wonder how she found us (probably with the sense of Sound, coz none of wears that good deo’s, so smell is out of the Question). It’s fun to tell her jokes, coz this woman will laugh first n then try to understand the joke, I’m sure it’s only to keep the joke deliverers sensitivity in mind. She’s got a Kinetic, I always pray for those walking on the sidewalks, coz I know the people on the road r pretty safe coz she’s barely gonna b on it. Anyways, can’t afford to irritate her, I need free medicine... :) Thanks Akka!!

Lastly Casanova!! This former Athlete’s still got the rub of the green. He’s got so many “girlfriends” it’s frightening!! Barely comes down nowadays, busy boy with work n stuff. But we make it a point to remember him when we’re gong out, Mostly coz we’re a big group n we need atleast 2-3 cars :P. He’s very hardworking though, fultoo social work kinda guy. Not running anymore but still likes to keep in shape, Hehe. Can be seen walking around the colony whenever he’s back from office. Computer nerd, those networking types. Has a lotta stuff stored on his comp, but considering he’s been brought up beautifully at home there’s no stuff that I’d find interesting. Neeche aaya kar oye, more often!!

So this is my group, where do I fit in?? Well, I’m the sutradhar, the puppeteer, mildly put, I’m King. N considering I had this much time to write such a loooong blog, (that only few people r gonna read) I’m the guy who desperately needs a life!!

Still, Life’s Good. Na, Great!!

-Joey…. I Rule :)