If the Title confuses you then relax, coz it’s a new term that has been given to the age old malady that has been going on for generations on end. It is a condition that generally affects the Heart( source) but then starts spreading to afflict the various other parts of the body, resulting eventually in, Failure of the Brain, i.e. Maximus Stupidus. Ladies n gentleman I present to thee, Love..
In my 21 years of research I have found out that this is by far the most overrated of Diseases, and is easily curable, though it’s preferable if it were Prevented. It has a affliction rate higher than the Common Cold, n causes more physical n mental damage than Prostrate cancer. It is also known in the inner circle as “Ladoo Motichurus, jise ho vo bhi tadpe, jise na ho vo bhi tadpe”. However one of the most lethal aspects about this disease is that if you are affected, n then if the Virus decides to leave ( sometimes, luck permitting) u still end up with “Humiliation Extremus” which is caused by the now disease-free person to constantly crave for a shoulder to cry on, n eventually become what Medical Journals call “Devdasic”. But even more lethal is being immune to this disease n thus being termed as “Heartless” and then becoming a social outcast.
Here are Some of the Symtoms of R.N.:
1) Effeminacy of the Y chromosome containing Party:
R.N. causes the male to say things like “aaaawww, really??” n “How Sweet”, though this is not as bad, but then when these words are accompanied by the occasional 20’ tilt of the head, u know the situation is getting worse. If you see a person doing so, pls thwack him on the head, or if u feel like taking advantage of the situation, record a video of him doing so, trust me, the novelty of the video shall never die down!! Also it makes the Man seem like his testicles are in transit, or that he didn’t go to Baggage claim when Gods “Sex only after Marriage, till then a VIRGIN ATLANTIC” airlines landed. For the sake of the parties future, embarrassment is a dictat.
2) Craving for attention of the X Chromosome party:
This is seen during the courtship phase whereby the female is said to ask redundant n absolutely doofus like questions about ones Physical appearance. N it generally begins from the physical extremes i.e. Hair/Shoes. However since the Male party is afflicted from Symptom 1, it causes him to actually give an opinion on the erstwhile asked questions, which fuels the conversation to head to more confusion than a Priyadarshini Movie. At this time, it is prescribed that both parties move away from a social gathering to either avoid being ridiculed, or if they want to, both could go on ahead together n get their Hair n Nails done..
3) Confuciusness:
Wisdom is gathered through experience, or so they say, however when one suffers from R.N., one seems to suddenly be filled with Advice giving ability which generally begins with the line, “From my experience”, n is accompanied by the hand over the shoulder, if u haven’t someone managed to free yourself from this submission move, you’re forced to sit through the pravachan banging your head n cursing yourself for having asked the dreaded question (or did you?).
4) Sudden Increase in Personal Hygiene:
A person who initially barely brushed his teeth after waking up shall now not only brush after every meal, but shall even regularly shave his/her armpit hair, trim the odd stray nostril hair, well, u get my drift. Though, it’s a good thing, it makes u kinda realize, why not make the same effort initially?? At least then you’d save the pre-known people from the Bad breathed, unkempt and often “I’m sure I’d pass off as a beggar, easy money!” person we’ve all come to love/hate/ignore.
5) Depleting Wallet Phenomenon:
This is by far THE biggest symptom n a sure shot sign that there’s a patient among you'll. When alone if the person says “Subah 400 Rs. Lekar gayaa tha yaar, sab ud gayaa, sirf 10 rupay hain abhi”, Cross-Question the cheeky runt. Either he’s seen Bunty Aur Bubli too many times n learnt the art of conning, or he’s genuinely, a Victim!! If the person is one who has no dearth of Money, then there’s obviously gonna be no worry of an empty pocket, that’s when u co-relate this with Symptom 1, if u run a scavenger hunt around his house n find anything girly, admit him immediately!!
6) Ignorance of the Societal concept/ Tunnel Vision:
When u begin to notice than u only notice one person, bonk your head with a Baseball Bat. This optometric impairment is known as Tunnel Vision, or “Ghode ki race”. When a reply to whatever u ask the probable afflictee is “eeeeh???”, it means that u have just been relegated by the afflicted to the “You’re not the one I want to talk to/Hear from, so pakaa mat!!”category. It would be best to let that person just be, n hope he wanders aimlessly with some gay Aatif Aslam track playing on his mind n then gets run over by a Ford Endeavour ( that would be very very detailed)
7) Alteration of the senses:
It has been said that when one sense is lost, the others are heightened, so too in this case. While Suffering from R.N. it has been noticed that all of a sudden the parties voices begin to resemble squeaks n vision is impaired (see Symptom 6 for Further details). Also the sense of touch magnifies n there is a constant need to touch the other partner in a very Braille like fashion, as if the other parties skin is some of sort of cryptic code to find “hidden” treasure ( well, it kinda is, isn’t it?? :P). This is one symptom that I endorse even if you’re not suffering from R.N., the outcome/discovery could be “Eureka” worthy!!
Before I get “flooded” with replies from the 2/3 people I know who I force to read this, let me tell you, No, I’m not Pathetic, & Yes, Love is Stupid. But I’m no Narayan Shankar (Amitabh Bachhan in his “mujhe Parivartan pasand nahi” love hating role in the debut movie of the incredulously gifted Uday Chopra In Mohabbatein), I just felt that the opinion presented here is more “bash-worthy”. With this Piece I have also tried to show off my English skills, n have exhausted it (I strongly advice against it coz it’s very tiring to type more characters on the keyboard, n well, Carpal Tunnel!).
To all those who suffer, always remember there’s a Cure n to all those who don’t, WE”RE A SUPERIOR SOCIETAL SUB-STRATA!!
Abide,
Joe
In my 21 years of research I have found out that this is by far the most overrated of Diseases, and is easily curable, though it’s preferable if it were Prevented. It has a affliction rate higher than the Common Cold, n causes more physical n mental damage than Prostrate cancer. It is also known in the inner circle as “Ladoo Motichurus, jise ho vo bhi tadpe, jise na ho vo bhi tadpe”. However one of the most lethal aspects about this disease is that if you are affected, n then if the Virus decides to leave ( sometimes, luck permitting) u still end up with “Humiliation Extremus” which is caused by the now disease-free person to constantly crave for a shoulder to cry on, n eventually become what Medical Journals call “Devdasic”. But even more lethal is being immune to this disease n thus being termed as “Heartless” and then becoming a social outcast.
Here are Some of the Symtoms of R.N.:
1) Effeminacy of the Y chromosome containing Party:
R.N. causes the male to say things like “aaaawww, really??” n “How Sweet”, though this is not as bad, but then when these words are accompanied by the occasional 20’ tilt of the head, u know the situation is getting worse. If you see a person doing so, pls thwack him on the head, or if u feel like taking advantage of the situation, record a video of him doing so, trust me, the novelty of the video shall never die down!! Also it makes the Man seem like his testicles are in transit, or that he didn’t go to Baggage claim when Gods “Sex only after Marriage, till then a VIRGIN ATLANTIC” airlines landed. For the sake of the parties future, embarrassment is a dictat.
2) Craving for attention of the X Chromosome party:
This is seen during the courtship phase whereby the female is said to ask redundant n absolutely doofus like questions about ones Physical appearance. N it generally begins from the physical extremes i.e. Hair/Shoes. However since the Male party is afflicted from Symptom 1, it causes him to actually give an opinion on the erstwhile asked questions, which fuels the conversation to head to more confusion than a Priyadarshini Movie. At this time, it is prescribed that both parties move away from a social gathering to either avoid being ridiculed, or if they want to, both could go on ahead together n get their Hair n Nails done..
3) Confuciusness:
Wisdom is gathered through experience, or so they say, however when one suffers from R.N., one seems to suddenly be filled with Advice giving ability which generally begins with the line, “From my experience”, n is accompanied by the hand over the shoulder, if u haven’t someone managed to free yourself from this submission move, you’re forced to sit through the pravachan banging your head n cursing yourself for having asked the dreaded question (or did you?).
4) Sudden Increase in Personal Hygiene:
A person who initially barely brushed his teeth after waking up shall now not only brush after every meal, but shall even regularly shave his/her armpit hair, trim the odd stray nostril hair, well, u get my drift. Though, it’s a good thing, it makes u kinda realize, why not make the same effort initially?? At least then you’d save the pre-known people from the Bad breathed, unkempt and often “I’m sure I’d pass off as a beggar, easy money!” person we’ve all come to love/hate/ignore.
5) Depleting Wallet Phenomenon:
This is by far THE biggest symptom n a sure shot sign that there’s a patient among you'll. When alone if the person says “Subah 400 Rs. Lekar gayaa tha yaar, sab ud gayaa, sirf 10 rupay hain abhi”, Cross-Question the cheeky runt. Either he’s seen Bunty Aur Bubli too many times n learnt the art of conning, or he’s genuinely, a Victim!! If the person is one who has no dearth of Money, then there’s obviously gonna be no worry of an empty pocket, that’s when u co-relate this with Symptom 1, if u run a scavenger hunt around his house n find anything girly, admit him immediately!!
6) Ignorance of the Societal concept/ Tunnel Vision:
When u begin to notice than u only notice one person, bonk your head with a Baseball Bat. This optometric impairment is known as Tunnel Vision, or “Ghode ki race”. When a reply to whatever u ask the probable afflictee is “eeeeh???”, it means that u have just been relegated by the afflicted to the “You’re not the one I want to talk to/Hear from, so pakaa mat!!”category. It would be best to let that person just be, n hope he wanders aimlessly with some gay Aatif Aslam track playing on his mind n then gets run over by a Ford Endeavour ( that would be very very detailed)
7) Alteration of the senses:
It has been said that when one sense is lost, the others are heightened, so too in this case. While Suffering from R.N. it has been noticed that all of a sudden the parties voices begin to resemble squeaks n vision is impaired (see Symptom 6 for Further details). Also the sense of touch magnifies n there is a constant need to touch the other partner in a very Braille like fashion, as if the other parties skin is some of sort of cryptic code to find “hidden” treasure ( well, it kinda is, isn’t it?? :P). This is one symptom that I endorse even if you’re not suffering from R.N., the outcome/discovery could be “Eureka” worthy!!
Before I get “flooded” with replies from the 2/3 people I know who I force to read this, let me tell you, No, I’m not Pathetic, & Yes, Love is Stupid. But I’m no Narayan Shankar (Amitabh Bachhan in his “mujhe Parivartan pasand nahi” love hating role in the debut movie of the incredulously gifted Uday Chopra In Mohabbatein), I just felt that the opinion presented here is more “bash-worthy”. With this Piece I have also tried to show off my English skills, n have exhausted it (I strongly advice against it coz it’s very tiring to type more characters on the keyboard, n well, Carpal Tunnel!).
To all those who suffer, always remember there’s a Cure n to all those who don’t, WE”RE A SUPERIOR SOCIETAL SUB-STRATA!!
Abide,
Joe
ghahahahahaha Way to go Joyell. Btw, who do you go to for treatment?
ReplyDeleteyou know, there are so many comments buzzing in my head right, its hard to choose which one shows off my english skilld the most. i shall ponder and get back to you.
ReplyDeleteit would really help if you were afflicted with RN though.
lubu
also, bahut pakaata hai yaar!
ReplyDeletetera maximus stupidus ka overheating toh ho gaya.abhi agle paanch saal ke liye kuch mat bolo.
Chalta hai re Lubu...RN ke mareezon se mein aur kuch expect bhi nahi kar sakta.. :P
ReplyDeleteENJOY!!!!
joey......ki baat hai..love shove pe post....itna parivartan..:P....anyways just cudnt stop laughing while reading it...well written..as always...yeh post usko padha jiske pass yeh saare symptoms hai..u know wat i mean...;)..keep writng ..cheers:))
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteVarun bhaiyya.. I really don't know what u mean.. :P
ReplyDeleteUdhar se vaapas aa, baadme Juhu jaake baithte hain aur zyaada gupshup karenge... hehehehe
joe joe joeeeee....hahahhhaahahahahaha....awesomeennesss..tooo goood...i cnt stop smiling...:D..had a blast while readin it...awesoomee..
ReplyDeleteTHanks Annie!! (U'll be getting a crate full of Mangoes in the summer now.. my Gift :P)
ReplyDeletehw swt..:D:D...
ReplyDeleteheheheh
ReplyDelete